The plans of the heart belong to man,but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.-Proverbs 16:1
Over the past month, I've come to understand that God is Sovereign over all things - including my body. A few weeks ago, I awoke to the sound of my city's local EMT firefighters loudly mispronouncing my name as my wife gently explained what was happening.
Honey, you had a seizure. They're going to take you to the hospital. Okay?
Little to my knowledge, and quite apart from anything I had planned for the night, while I slept my body shook violently, my muscles stiffened, and my consciousness of what was occurring in me and around me, apparently, went blank.
It was a reality that I had faced before, about 37 years or so ago. I remember the stories of how I had almost suffocated on plastic while having a seizure, and thinking it was weird that I had no recollection of those times. The seizures were always something I thought I had grown out of, a neurological anomaly that I would never face again. But I was wrong.
I don't remember the experience of having a seizure, but I do recall what came afterward. Sore muscles. A numb tongue. Worried children. A tearful wife.
Most of all, I remember reflecting on how little control I had over anything. In the span of just a couple of hours, I transitioned from peacefully sleeping to violently shaking, completely unaware of the raucous my body was causing. I had to have my own bodily experiences described and explained to me. I had to be carried, placed on a stretcher, driven to the hospital, and cared for by others.
I had already known that God is Sovereign, you see, but this turn of events forced me to revisit that truth, over and over. Having a grand mal seizure was not in my plans. Being told that I could neither drive nor work my normal job was also not in my plans. However, these were planned by the Lord.
I had, have, and never will have any basis for complaining about my lot in life. Everything that comes to pass has been ordained by God. God is always good. Therefore, everything that comes to pass has been ordained to accomplish his good and perfect will. God does not need me, but has mercifully and graciously given me purpose in Christ.
So I hope to write more often, record podcasts more often, make music more often, and study more often. However, I can't promise that any of these things will happen. What I can promise is that whatever happens is occurring to the good and perfect will of the Triune God. I can confidently state that all who are in Christ Jesus ought to never even entertain an iota of nihilism, despite it aggressively confronting us day by day in popular media and news reports, because all that happens is part of what the Triune God in his infinite wisdom has already decreed will come to pass.
Soli Deo Gloria.
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